Grant's Change in Mindset Regarding His Ongoing Meetings with Jefferson

Throughout the first part of Ernest J. Gaines' A Lesson Before Dying, it is fairly evident that our protagonist, Grant Wiggins, is very reluctant to perform the task given to him early on in the novel. Grant's aunt and Miss Emma request that Grant go to visit Miss Emma's godson Jefferson, who is on death row, in jail and turn him into a man. Grant's initial reaction to hearing of his task is not very enthusiastic, as he would rather completely avoid the emotionally loaded dynamic of the heartbroken godmother who wants to save her son and the condemned-to-death son who rejects the outside world upon being convicted. Despite Grant's strong desire to avoid Jefferson and the apparent stoicism he exhibits upon hearing Miss Emma's request, he is forced to visit Jefferson on account of his aunt's persistence, and reluctantly complies. At a superficial level, it seems very contradictory that Miss Emma is so fixated upon Grant visiting Jefferson when Grant himself has no desire to see him in the first place. In fact, Grant's only connection to Jefferson is that he was his teacher at one point, and it is only out of deference to his aunt and Miss Emma that he agrees to visiting him. Keeping this notion in mind, it makes sense that Grant isn't as invested in changing Jefferson's disposition to turn the young boy into a man, evident by the ease at which he lies to both his aunt and Miss Emma whenever he is asked how the visits are going. In spite of this, Miss Emma continues to request that Grant visit Jefferson, and remarkably, after several visits, Grant begins to form a substantial bond with him. While it seems foolish that Miss Emma and Tante Lou are so obstinate in their insistence that Grant be the one to visit Jefferson, their reasoning for doing so is actually similar to Grant's reason for suddenly investing time in Jefferson, as both parties believe that with Grant's help, Jefferson has greatest chance of breaking the cycle of stagnation that has been plaguing their community--one that Grant describes black men have been stuck in for centuries.

We can discern Miss Emma and Tante Lou's reasoning behind having Grant visit Jefferson in a scene that surprisingly involves neither of them: the scene between Grant and Vivian in the Rainbow Club just after they leave Miss Emma's house. Jefferson's words to Vivian about the desires and goals for black men in his society align very closely with what Miss Emma wants from Jefferson: "No, she wants memories, memories of him standing like a man. Oh, she will meet him soon, and she knows that. But she wants memories, if only for a day, an hour, here on earth [...] So each time a male child is born, they hope he will be the one to change this vicious circle--which he never does" (166-167). We can see from Grant's response that Miss Emma doesn't simply want Jefferson to be "saved" by religion, but wants to be able to have the peace of mind of knowing that her godson died standing up to the authority, rather than crawling and whimpering to the electric chair as a hog would. Grant makes the point that no one has yet broken the cycle that black men are born into, and underscores the difficulty of escaping it due to the many black men in the past who have tried to elude it and failed. Even thought Grant is initially reluctant to visit Jefferson, Miss Emma knows that Grant is one of the few black men in her community that has at least partially escaped the cycle, not running away and not living as a broken man, but rather going off to college and coming back with the respectable profession as a teacher. By having Grant visit and speak to Jefferson, she hopes that he will be able to convince Jefferson that his image is still worth living for, and that he can be one of the few to escape the cycle simply by acting respectably and like a man in his final moments.

Grant's desire all along is to be able to stand up to the white authority figures and break the cycle fully, but finds it difficult to successfully do so considering the heavily loaded racial circumstances in his community. When Grant speaks to Jefferson during their walk around the dayroom, he explains to Jefferson how he can break the cycle: "White people believe that they're better than anyone else on earth--and that's a myth. [...] Please listen to me, because I would not lie to you now. I speak from my heart. You have the chance of being bigger than anyone who has ever lived on his plantation or come to this little town. You can do it if you try" (192-193). Grant believes that because of Jefferson's situation of getting executed on a set date regardless of his actions, he is in a unique position to stand up to the authority and break out of the cycle that black men have suffered through for so long with practically no consequences--simply by acting dignified. Grant's sees an opportunity to escape the system through Jefferson that he can't replicate in his own life, as his intention is for Jefferson to appear as respectable as possible up until the point of his execution so that the white power structure will look ruthless and unjust when it takes the life of such a calm and composed young man. It's almost as if Grant is funneling his desires for himself and what he wishes he could do through Jefferson, reasoning that he will be satisfied if he can convince Jefferson to seize the opportunity and provide for the community what no one before had the opportunity to do. If Jefferson can show humanity in his final moments, Grant will be content and will have succeeded in breaking the "myth" that white people believe and debunking the theory of the cycle which his teacher, Matthew Antoine, condemned all black men to, ultimately shedding light on the corruptness of the entire system.